Our “power” exchange?

I’ve come to dislike very much the term power exchange in a M/s relationship, at least for ours, and this is why.

An exchange of power can mean that both parties need power to actually exchange, it’s a two-way street. When meeting at a MaST last month it was argued that a total power exchange can define an M/s relationship.

Now, before I get started I want to emphasize that my own experience, which I am speaking of, is coming from a 24/7 M/s and O/p relationship.

I’m not exactly sure why, when speaking with others that they try to get me to admit that I have power in my own dynamic. I am a slave. I am property. My decisions that are made are a direct reflection of my Master. I do not like when people think that I have “Power” just because I have responsibilities. Being a slave/property, I do my best to find ways to give more power over to my Master/Owner. I run towards him controlling me, not away. The thought of me having “power” over him is the total opposite of what the whole relationship is based on. I am not a modern feminist. Lol… Far from it. I’ve never wanted to be head of household and gravitated towards a confident man. I do not believe that I am equal to my Master. I have a bracelet that says WWMD. What Would Master Do? This is a reminder that my actions are a direct reflection of my submission. I am here to serve him. I am here for His needs and in fulfilling his wants and desires I found happiness .

So, when speaking about my feelings about how our relationship works I get push back, even from other “open minded lifestylers”. Lol.. I find this pretty amusing . Women especially want to prove a point by having me admit that I have the power in our M/s dynamic. Why? I’m not quite sure. What if I don’t want power? What if that’s the goal? Why is that so hard to understand?

Power can only be exchanged if there is power to give. For our dynamic, Master has the control, the power and the decision making. I am given permission to do certain things but these are not inalienable rights. They can be withheld. This is the dynamic I am in. I take this very seriously.

I’ve come across some women who are scared for me. They would rather me be in control of my own destiny, why? I’m OK. Actually, I’m great. They can be scared but don’t try to define me according to their own fears. I gave up my rights, my control and my will the day I was collared/married. This is our way of life. It works for us..

Thank you





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13 Responses to Our “power” exchange?

  1. missagathaarmstrong says:

    Oh I so so very much agree with you ..
    I have a friend … nothing I can do or say will get her to stop x

    • vilesarianna says:

      Guys are normally like yeah, Woohoo.. wish I had that.. women are usually like, why are you trying to build up walls that our movement so desperately are tearing down. I do what works for me. My actions are not there to define a movement except for in my own life. Thank you. But some men are afraid of a submissive woman also.

      • missagathaarmstrong says:

        most men I know ..
        love the idea – but could not handle the commitment … which is just fine – – and the women … Oh my how feisty they get …. but … their life is not for me – Mr F is my life and it can be no other way … i think women get so cross because a tiny part if them longs for their own submission to be free …

  2. dvjan21 says:

    I look at the M/s dynamic as an outsider. I neither dismiss it with a patronizing, “I’m glad it works for the two of you.” nor do I do long for it in my own relationship. You eloquently describe the relationship in your marriage and make no apologies for it.
    Well said.

  3. I love your relationship and I admire you both. You’re a great example. This is what I think when I’m asked what a Master/slave relationship looks like.


  4. slave tasha says:

    Beautiful dynamic for you both, and a perfect compliment to Vile’s piece today, too! 💜

  5. agatagrop says:

    Women always need to struggle for having their rights and decisions respected. Even when you choose to be a slave. You see, even this is a consequence of sexism, our choices are not respected!

  6. jrpeskle says:

    I have been following your blog and your Master’s blog for a little while now. I find your relationship very interesting. I think what some people think is that because society has given you the right to walk away from your relationship at any time that is a source of power. It is the one thing you will never really be able to give up because society doesn’t truly allow it. I also think this is good because it makes sure your Master is always thinking of your needs in every decision he makes (although I know he thinks of you because he truly cares more then any law) and because of that you are able to give so much of yourself to him. I think you both are very lucky and fortunate to have found each other. Vile seems to be very caring for you (I read his blog too) which fills his need to not only have everything his way but to care for someone in that way as well. It is a very special relationship you have and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It is a perfect symbiotic relationship. You have found an equilibrium that not many people find, including myself. I hope you both have a very long and happy life together.

  7. dievca says:

    Arianna, perhaps it was our conversation which prompted this — I still maintain a very large picture view and come at things with different data. That doesn’t mean I do not respect your viewpoint. Nor do I want you to “admit” anything. We just see it differently and by all means that is o.k. You are strong as Vile’s property, we know that – and if I see something it as an exchange from the beginning of time – that’s my own view. It doesn’t need to be anyone else’s. And, actually, it doesn’t need to be the “right” view – it’s your view of your relationship that is important.
    Not mine. I think you two are amazing, and honestly, I don’t really care how it works – just that it does.

    • vilesarianna says:

      Semantics.. that’s all. The MaST that we went to actually covered this also. I realize it’s perspective and my definition, if it works for me does not have to be approved by others. And vice versa to others as well.. we are all in this thing called life and each will interpret to their own needs and back ground. Thank you for your continued support. Have an awesome day..

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