I’ve been absent. I know this more then anyone. It’s been a smooth ride, between there and here. Subtle changes going unnoticed while big things tether us even close. I am very reliant on my Master.
There’s been comforts and stresses but those are intertwined in this beautiful thing we call life.
Things have been good. Master has been good.
Chocolate cake is on the stove, life has smoothed out.
Not that it was rocky but there are phases. I go through phases. It’s actually funny looking back.
Master and I just had a conversation today about my phases. He asked me if I remembered when I wanted him to be more of an ass. Lol.. I guess I did say something like that but here’s why, I was trying to define my M/s (Master/slave) relationship from what my own perception was and how my idea of that is. I disregarded the fact that the relationship is defined by both people. Although, I kept asking if I could do of become something more to my Master.
I bypassed the thought process that would have led me to a quicker realization that although my Master thankfully isn’t the ‘ass’ that I had imagined a Master should be, the bond is so much better. My old definition included submitting through fear and not respect.
There’s a big difference. My Master has learned who I am and has trained me by methods that work just for me. He didn’t blanket me with whippings to get me to submit. I gradually became to understand that my submission is unique AND his dominance is unique. Just as I wouldn’t want to be pigeon holed into a classification I found out that it wouldn’t do either of us any good if I held onto the outdated belief that being a Master is a cookie cutter idealization. He is what I need. He has taught me much, mostly by his patience and living an example of a truthful life.
So, looking back on that phase that wasn’t too long ago I bask in my new thinking that we are unique and that’s OK. He is my Master and it’s good that he dominates me like no other. I no longer compare his dominance with another. Also, in the same token, my submission with other slaves. So, I do not want or need my Master to be more of an “ass”. He’s good just the way he is, Perfect and irreplaceable.