My “Ass”

I’ve been absent. I know this more then anyone. It’s been a smooth ride, between there and here. Subtle changes going unnoticed while big things tether us even close. I am very reliant on my Master.
There’s been comforts and stresses but those are intertwined in this beautiful thing we call life.
Things have been good. Master has been good.
Chocolate cake is on the stove, life has smoothed out.
Not that it was rocky but there are phases. I go through phases. It’s actually funny looking back.

Master and I just had a conversation today about my phases. He asked me if I remembered when I wanted him to be more of an ass. Lol.. I guess I did say something like that but here’s why, I was trying to define my M/s (Master/slave) relationship from what my own perception was and how my idea of that is. I disregarded the fact that the relationship is defined by both people. Although,  I kept asking if I could do of become something more to my Master.
I bypassed the thought process that would have led me to a quicker realization that although my Master thankfully isn’t the ‘ass’ that I had imagined a Master should be, the bond is so much better. My old definition included submitting through fear and not respect.

There’s a big difference. My Master has learned who I am and has trained me by methods that work just for me. He didn’t blanket me with whippings to get me to submit. I gradually became to understand that my submission is unique AND his dominance is unique. Just as I wouldn’t want to be pigeon holed into a classification I found out that it wouldn’t do either of us any good if I held onto the outdated belief that being a Master is a cookie cutter idealization. He is what I need. He has taught me much, mostly by his patience and living an example of a truthful life.

So, looking back on that phase that wasn’t too long ago I bask in my new thinking that we are unique and that’s OK. He is my Master and it’s good that he dominates me like no other.  I no longer compare his dominance with another. Also, in the same token, my submission with other slaves. So, I do not want or need my Master to be more of an “ass”. He’s good just the way he is, Perfect and irreplaceable.

This entry was posted in Living as Master & Slave and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to My “Ass”

  1. dievca says:

    How lovely a realization! XO

  2. Selina says:

    So beautiful!!! Your peace and serenity can be felt in your words 💕

  3. robin says:

    Sounds perfect to me. You are perfect for each other, exactly the way it’s supposed to be.

  4. toraprincess says:

    I have a hard time comparing us with others. Just when I think things are great I look over there and think we aren’t doing it right. I struggle to keep in perspective that we are unique and that is fine.

    • vilesarianna says:

      I truly understand. My internal battle was verbalized between my Master and I. He let me come to the realization on my own because that’s where it needed to come from. It’s easy to say but harder to do. I was stuck in comparing mainly due to my entrance in the lifestyle. It was led by submission with fear of pain. Take away the pain and fear and I was left questioning my submission. Now, I realize that we don’t need to have those to fulfill our Definition of TPE. Although, I have felt pain through a punishment but that was needed. I am grateful for it. I used to take pain because I thought that proved I was a good slave. Now I know that I’m a good slave because I fulfill my Master’s wants and needs. That’s good enough for him so it darn well better be good enough for me. 😉

  5. missagathaarmstrong says:

    Mr F from the beggining promised no prescription. which for me was the most helpful – as i am to follow His lead and no others… right now this is hard as He only requires my patience and peace. But i know that Mr F is my Master and that although He may not be able to see me or talk to me right now, He is there when i really need Him. i wait till He is ready and i pray ever day that the day comes soon – but i shall wait – x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s