Life has a way of sneaking up on you sometimes. I understand.
I’m trying to keep time Standing still because there isn’t anything i want changed right now. I’m thankful of so many things that it’s scary. Meaning, I’m hoping the ax doesn’t drop and cut away at my happiness, security and comfort.
It’s almost scary to think of the good because there’s sooo many ways that things can go bad. It’s almost like walking on egg shells not wanting to wake “Life” up. Life has a way of smattering the good with some bad. I guess part of it is perspective. No matter what happens it could always be worse. I understand that but I’m talking about those unpredictable things that forever change ones perspective. I want to stay innocent and protected. I want to stay naive.
I don’t want to learn the hard way and i don’t want to wake up from the present. I want things to stay just as they are. But. … i know things change. That’s the one constant in life. Nothing can be stagnant. Things are constantly in motion. One can never touch the same river in the same place twice. I’ve only got one shot.
So many days just go by though and i become complacent sometimes. Although thankful i feel like i can do more. Show more love. Cherish loved ones more. Make that phone call. Write that letter. Say those words just one more time. Prepare for the bad while enjoying the good?
I don’t mean to sound morbid but it’s scary. The unknown terrifies me. I want my security. In Master i have that and I’m scared that life will deal me a hand that i don’t want. I mean who wants the bad. No one. .. so if there’s nothing bad right now then that means there probably will be at some point in time. And that is one big DREAD. Yuck.
I’m trying to keep my head in the present. With each awesome day i feel like it brings me closer to a hurdle though. Aarg.
Anyways. .. i know that i have an awesome life. I have many gifts given to me. Too many to write. I hope that each of your lives are well also.