submission time

I may turn a few heads but I don’t understand part time submission. I mean,  I guess I can understand bedroom kink and live an equal relationship outside the bedroom but I’m not quite on board with Part Time subs. 

I think that some subs are actually slaves but prefer the term submissive. If a 24 / 7 sub could comment I’d love to see what others view as the difference between a Slave and a 24 / 7 submissive. 

Basically. If a person is submitting 100% of the time then wouldn’t that make the submission complete?  And we all know that these terms are fluid. Slave to one can mean submissive to another and vice versa.  

I think some 24\7 subs are concerned about taking that step to tpe. (Total power exchange) due to trust?  I trust my Master to maintain my emotional and physical well being in the forefront. I trust that he will not want to break his property.  I trust him with my life.  I know that he is capable of harming me but chooses not to. My Master respects me and our relationship. I’m not saying that others don’t have this in their relationship but what would be the difference if it wasn’t trust? 

I’m brainstorming out loud. I’m trying not to just speak in titles because that can lose its meaning. If one lives a total 1950’s lifestyle then what’s the differences between that and a tpe relationship?  The kink?  

Just my thoughts rolling around in my head.  

To me. . And again each relationship is different. My submission is all the time. What makes me a Slave?  Complete and total trust.  Yielding power to my Master in all things. He controls my life. 

And in that is my submission time. 

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39 Responses to submission time

  1. Cinnamon says:

    As you know I don’t live that life full time, even though I wish I did…. but I will say that the way I think about it is this:
    To ME ( my opinion only )
    A slave makes one decision only and that is taking a Master and agreeing to become his slave.
    A submissive retains more input into the decisions, even if he does ultimately make the final say.

    I know all M/s relationships are different….as are D/s…. and I like a very strict, almost micromanaged life…. but I still like that little cushion. I say cushion only because I can’t think of a better term at the moment….

    Of course for me personally, being a babygirl/little… my perfect life is a 24/7 blend of all.


    • vilesarianna says:

      Well said. Thank you for commenting.

    • vilesarianna says:

      Dear cinnamon.
      As you stated. “A submissive retains more input into the decisions, even if he does ultimately make the final say.”
      I guess that’s what I was talking about in the trust issue. If the Dom has the final say but listens to the subs concerns and the sub trusts that his decision will be in the relationships best interest then I don’t see much difference between a Slave and sub if it is 24/7. Just my two cents. I know that Master Vile makes decisions carefully due to each outcome affecting not only him but myself also. But I can see where a sub would want to retain more decision making power.

      • Cinnamon says:

        Everything for the slave comes down to the choice of the Master…. which you have done well…. so for girls like me or Selina, with love and trust…. it probably is a semantic question.
        For others who have different dynamics, it is a big distinction.

      • vilesarianna says:

        Oh the things I think about for my bedtime stories. 🙂

  2. I would have loved to have lived in the 50’s. We wouldn’t have had to explain our need to serve our man so much lol. You’re a very lucky woman that you’ve found someone who is willing to take complete control of your life. Sir and I are working towards that and I’m excited to see what the future holds. Thank you for sharing Hun.

    • vilesarianna says:

      I believe that one can attain the same stability in this day and age too. It just goes against the women’s movement. Standing behind your man and empowering him by giving him the control.
      Thank you. Best of luck on your journey.

  3. BoPeep says:

    Arianna, your Master gave me some very good advice last year when I was struggling with the realization I was more of a slave than a submissive. “Do not worry about titles, be who you are” Today, I am still very slave like in my mindset about submission, it’s not something I have to “work” at, but DMW cannot dedicate the time and effort required to manage all the needs I would have as a slave, so we have moved away from a tpe. The submission is still 24/7, but I now choose my clothes and can make small purchases without consulting DMW. I still take a picture for him every day though, and send him pictures of something I’m unsure about. I think the difference between 1950’s and tpe is the respect, women were thought to be good for childrearing, cooking, cleaning and boring sex. Mistresses were for kink.

    • vilesarianna says:

      That’s understandable. I didn’t think about the time factor too. Doms who Master slaves have a huge responsibility. In that you are very correct.
      Thank you.

      • BoPeep says:

        Arianna, Doms may fantasize about a slave vs a sub, but as your Master always says, most don’t have the time and energy to dedicate to a slave. I think this is especially true if there are children in the house, not because of their observance of protocol so much as the time they require.

      • vilesarianna says:

        Yes. You made a wonderful point. Sometimes it just hits me that I can’t be that different in my submission so I debate in my head the similarities and differences trying not to necessarily compare but just to appease my curiosity. Being a complete 24/7 Slave with no rights, living a micromanaged life can put weird perceptions in my head. My thinking of the world is skewed from a vanilla. My reality is sooooooo different from sooo many people. And although I only need acceptance from my Master I occasionally need a reminder that my place in our chocolate world isn’t without that beautiful cherry.

      • BoPeep says:

        Grin, even mine is very different, after a while, we lose sight of the very real fact that our life isn’t considered “normal” by most of the population. Case in point, DMW thinks nothing of grabbing my hair and pulling my head back in public if I am not paying attention, or even as a gesture of affection, and Mynx’s Sir doesn’t either, but WE are the weird ones in the bar…

      • vilesarianna says:

        Lol. . Yes. It’s hard to keep in my mind that not everyone sleeps in shackles or asks permission for everything or enjoys her dog crate or wears a collar. Lol. .

      • BoPeep says:

        LOLOL, yes, although being shut in a dark closet before a scene did wonders for my mindset a few nights ago 🙂

      • BoPeep says:

        Wait… Clarification… Mynx’s Sir does not grab my hair.

      • BoPeep says:

        Just to quell any rumors… Lol

      • vilesarianna says:

        I love my submission and maybe it’s a desire to share with so many others that it’s not as scary as it seems as long as your with a Dom that proves he is capable and desires the responsibility.

  4. Miss Lizzy says:

    I want to thank you for posting this and for Bo Peeps and Cinnamons comments. I was feeling lost and doubtful of my wishes and need to submit to a man. But after reading this and the comments I am refocused again. Thank you

  5. mel says:

    This and the comments are wonderful, Arianna. These are the kinds of things that those of us struggling to define ourselves need to read. Thank you for posting this and asking the question!! ❤

  6. Arianna- your Master Vile is a fortunate man to have your complete submission and unwavering devotion, as are you to have his complete devotion to you. Even more pronounced is your love and trust for one another. So commendable, so admirable.

    From my perspective, we started backwards from yourselves in that we spent 18 years together living a vanilla, albeit kinky, lifestyle. That’s hard to reverse in a year or three. Our realization of D/s was born in the bedroom and has evolved outward. Every day we journey deeper into the lifestyle. Replacing 20 years of history with total submission is difficult, and doing so in front of children even more-so. Sir collared me, and I wear my day collar daily except when I sleep, at which time I request to wear my leather cuffs. As Sir said in the interview with Sir Vile, this brings me even more into the submissive posture before asking to enter my Sirs bed. In the morning when we start our day, I ask for the cuffs to be removed and I put on my day collar when I’m done with my shower. I do have a formal matching leather collar, but because of breathing challenges, I cannot wear the collar at night, so we reserve it for times of play.

    For us the time issue comes into play, much like Bo Peep, my Sir needs me to step up at times and take a leadership role, and function on my own. His job requires much travel, and is away from our family and home often. So he needs me to function and make decisions without him at times. But If it’s something big, I will wait till I can get his input and final say. But with kids still living at home sometimes I just have to step to the plate and hit that home run! But even when Sir is gone my mind and desire to think and act as his submissive is still there, it’s a mindset. For me it’s kinda like a light switch, when I’m working the submission is off, but the minute I see, or simply hear Sir voice, the switch is turned back on and I sink into my mindset.

    I’m curious…. How do you transition from slave to working woman and back?

    Hugs my friend, Mynx

    • vilesarianna says:

      Excellent question. I’ll do my best to explain. Let me first say that I do not think that our way is the only right way. It is right for us and was agreed upon prior to the start of our relationship. I needed to be micromanaged and Master Vile agreed after considering the responsibility of taking on such a task. To be honest though, I don’t transition. Every waking minute I live for my Master. I’m not in many situations where I need to make decisions on my own. Master is always just a text away. Although I do get bathroom priveledges when away.. I go when I need to go so not much decision making there. Master talks to me when I drive into work. Once at work I get my assignment for the day. My job is task orientated. So I really don’t make decisions. I don’t deal with the public and seeing that I’ve been at my job for 15 years things are rhythmic. There are only so many areas to be assigned. Each area is pretty repetitious. I don’t venture into unchartered waters. There are always people nearby whom I can call upon when anything or of the ordinary arises.
      In my previous vanilla life, I was a little more independent but still very codependent. My independence was a stress. I was under constant pressure from myself and others to perform at an independent level. This was so against my nature though that I would often cry, get depressed, and pretty much just want to check out. I really couldn’t handle decisions and thinking about all the options those decisions entailed. I needed a focus. I needed Master. Someone to step up and say this is the way it’s going to happen. These are the very few choices you may make. These are the guidelines to live by. These are your parameters.
      After finding the world of tpe, I found a focus. I found a way to cope. I found a way to live that wasn’t going to put me in an early grave.
      I have always been a follower. One who excelled at following rules. A teachers pet. A good kid. I never got one detention in school. I’ve never gotten a ticket.
      I chose to not have children mainly due to my inability to handle myself, let alone trying to cope in this world. I’m not one to be adventurous. I don’t like responsibilities. I like being told what to do. So. .. I feel like I’m a natural Slave. There’s no work involved for me to trust my Master. I’m very happy that He had taken on the responsibility of life for the both of us. I can finally breathe.

  7. You know that’s the beauty of this lifestyle…. Is it can be made to fit every couple, and custom made to fit a persons needs. It’s wonderful that Sir Vile can easily do everything you need him to do, and your lives just fit together…. So very happy for you! You both are a wonderful example and mentors for the Master/slave community and the many who strive to have what you two are living everyday! Much love to you both!

  8. dievca says:

    I do not live with Master. There are reasons on both of our ends. I am not public, Master is not public — we do don’t participate in the BDSM community. NYC is a smaller town than you think. So, we qualify as “part time” D/s. It is what we can do at this moment with our lives. “Part time” is much better as “No Time” — I know, I was missing something large from my life. I had to get out of my anonymity and seek a Dom to fill my gaping hole. I was on Fetlife for 3 weeks during my search :15 meetings all face-to-face and I met Master at #12. Master was removing Himself from Fetlife – I was His last meeting. Master says that Buddha stepped in and gave us both what we needed when we needed it ~ each other.

    I am Master’s dominant dievca who becomes submissive and slips into slave (what are those titles?) when with him — what I mean is that I shift when seeing His eyes (sometimes slowly), but it gets deeper as we spend our time together. I always leave Master as His submissive/slave and have to grit my teeth to return as a dominant person. Life beckons.
    Master? Well Master is just always dominant.

    Perhaps if I was with Master, 24/7, I would not be “part time”. I would love to try that at some point, but that point might be retirement. 🙂

    You are living with Vile, 24/7, what would you do if he traveled for work and you couldn’t communicate for two weeks or more and you couldn’t be a part of your MaST community? I know Vile would work his hardest to make you feel secure – but the dynamics would change and you have to change to work with it. Some submissives and slaves have to be creative and very hardy.

    I am so blessed to be submissive, part time. I cannot get caught up in the fact that I am not more.

    • vilesarianna says:

      Dear dievca
      You have made good points. Even if situations change that would not change the core of who I am. I cannot fathom Master not being available. Before Master Vile I was involved in a LDR that was total control and total submission. Although we were 1000 miles apart, the control was ever present. Through phone, texts, cam, and every weekend visits. So I understand how control can be maintained, even micromanagement, when two people are not together. Even in that relationship, I was being guided step by step through life. Master and I have scenarios for instances when he cannot answer my questions and requests through texts. The good thing is, is in this day and age of technology I don’t have to fear of ever being alone.

      • dievca says:

        Got it — I thought you needed the physical contact, too. (That coming from yours and my love/need? of being restrained/chained in the Home).
        No phone, no e-mail, no texts, no service – When Master goes, He is gone. And if there is danger – I don’t want Him focused on me. XO

      • vilesarianna says:

        That must be hard. Did you know that situation when you entered into the relationship? When Master and I started we both knew of the time that We would need to devote to satisfy each others needs. And to maintain the tpe that we both wanted.

      • dievca says:

        No, I knew and I accepted it and I honor it. I am not available sometimes either.This is one of the reasons we run part-time, but the connection is strong.

        I am so in awe of you and Vile. I love that you two have found something that works for you both. Excellent! What Master and I have is working for us. I think Peep and Mynxie roll in there, too.

        Vile and Master’s points of honesty, trust and communication really do work.

      • vilesarianna says:

        Yes. Honesty. Trust. And communication is the key.

  9. dievca says:

    Ahh- I finally had a moment to read ALL the comments — sorry ’bout that~ Very cool. I took your post to be a question about being part-time and answered according as to why I accept part-time. Cheers.

  10. I also believe it is even possible that someone who is a sub to one person can be a dom over another. If you are not a full-time sub (or slave), you can do what you want…most of all, I am a 24/7 pervert. I do what I want when I want and don’t entirely care much for rules or labels. I admire your commitment and there is much to be said for a sense of belonging. It is enviable.
    For the rest of us, life is a smorgasbord. (IMHO)

    • vilesarianna says:

      Yes. There are many options out there. My way of living is no more greater than another’s. That’s what makes the lifestyle so awesome. There’s a niche for everyone. Thank you for stopping by.

  11. BritBrat101 says:

    This was a great read! 😊😊

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