What I need in life, a partner and bdsm

This post is mainly in response to my Master Viles blog at the kinky world of vile posted today.  

Needs and wants are totally different.  Most want to be able to spend money freely and have nice things. I would like to be able to be an at home slave. I would like my lawn to stay at a perfect length so that it doesn’t need to ever be cut again.  🙂

But really. . When it boils down to it all my needs and wants are being met. I used to want to travel a lot but over the past few years I’ve become a home body out of choice. So what is it I need. . I need to be on someone’s leash. I need to be held accountable. I need rules. I need structure in order to function on a positive path. When I don’t have my needs met i stay to waver and make bad choices for myself and for others. 

In the bdsm community I thrive in the arena of being under another’s control. Never havei found such a security blanket. Never could I breathe and let go. I tried so hard to maintain control in my vanilla relationships. I’m not exactly sure what clicked but it was a huge turn on to be under someone’s power.  I am naturally trusting so I would automatically believe that others had my best interest in mind. This opened the door to abuse.  When Master Vile found me, I was struggling to find someone to control me.  I had been in another bdsm relationship where the Dom was controlling but not in control. Although it wasn’t healthy it was almost impossible to leave but eventually after 6 Months of being miserable I left. That Dom was furious. Called and threatened me and cursed at me and called me names. He threw my past back in my face and basically lost control of himself.  It took him a couple months to settle down which only happened when my Master put his foot down and the abuse came to a screeching halt.  

I need to know that the relationship is secure. That my Master isn’t going to throw me to the side.  And my needs are totally met. 

Growing up I was always in control by default.  My innocence and cute looks have me an advantage. Caused me to be a brat. I was selfish. I threw fits. I threw temper tantrums.  Basically I had the control at a very early age but really didn’t want it.. It was a lot of pressure. Trying to make everyone happy because after all. I had the reins. I hated it but held on for Dear life. During my early years of vanilla relationships I kept the control. I manipulated to continue to be spoiled. I was selfish. 

I’m not sure what happened but in the world of bdsm I changed. I relished in the relinquishment of control.  And here I am.  A tpe 24/7 Slave and I’m happy. I’m able to serve my Master. . I’m able to follow rules which by the way I was always awesome at. Always being the good girl And the teachers pet. I thrive.  I’m challenged and I’m at peace.  Ultimately this is my most basic need. Peace. Peace.  Peace.  

May peace find you too. 

~Arianna

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11 Responses to What I need in life, a partner and bdsm

  1. Couldn’t have said it better myself Hun!! I can totally relate to this. I love being a slave and couldn’t imagine anything else. Wonderfully written. 🙂

    Hugs

  2. Cinnamon says:

    I love this post. I find peace in submission too.
    🙂

    xx

  3. I understand the need you describe. Now that I’ve had a small taste of the life, I feel lost when when this need isn’t being met. I’m glad you’ve found your peace. You both sound like you make a great couple!

  4. hissierra9 says:

    This is beautifully said.

  5. B says:

    Wow. Arianna, you profoundly and simply just put into a nutshell how I too feel and your last couple paragraphs especially I really really relate to. Between your blog and your Master’s blog I am really feeling less alone. Thank you. This made me cry!!! Lol. Reading that somebody else feels the same way is I don’t know… A relief.

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