Meeting a new Dom

This is a piggy back to my Masters latest post on the WordPress site, The Kinky World of Vile.

He wrote about what you should and shouldn’t do when meeting a Dom. Well, I did most of the Shouldn’t do’s when I was a newbie. Here’s what that entailed.

I joined a BDSM personals website. Created a profile with my real name and real picture and said, “hey, I’m a newbie”. Which basically translated to ” hey, I’m gullible and I haven’t done my homework and I’ll be an easy target”.

I barely knew what the letters BDSM stood for let alone what they meant. I’d never been to meetings, never heard of fet life, never talked to a female about this other lifestyle that existed, didn’t know about how predators preyed upon those who knew no better and was thinking that anyone who self titled themselves as a Dom/Master must be held on a pedestal because by golly they are smarter and know things that I don’t. They hold life’s secrets and are leaders and deserve my utmost trust.

Well, the personals ad got many responses. Most fell by the wayside but three stood out. They took the time and wanted to steer me clear of predators. They told me, all three that I should immediately take down my profile. This was partly to protect me but also to isolate me from others who might be a better match. I didn’t realize at the time that the manipulation had begun. All three were older which was an internal requirement of mine. The oldest was a 70 year old who was a sensual Dom. He seemed too soft spoken but took a genuine interest in who I was and listened to me. Ultimately I didn’t choose him but he warned me about the other two who were also pursuing me and to be careful. The second was local to me so I decided to meet him. During our conversations he asked me to tell him a secret that I had never told anyone else. This was to try and gain my trust. Common technique. I met him in public but of course I had to wear a dress with no underwear. He was touchy and made me uncomfortable but I stayed through lunch. I was honest and told him that I was deciding between him and another Dom that lived 1000 miles away. He started pressuring me and wanted me to go to his house so we could start my training. Wow. He wanted to train me. He felt that I was worthy. Silly me. He then explained that his training would consist of sucking him off. I was so not attracted to him and felt that things were going way to fast. He was pretty verbally forceful and didn’t want me to say no to him which I eventually did and left.

So, it was down to one. I’ll refer to him as goober. That’s because it’s my Masters nickname for him. He spent hours on the phone with me and we video chatted. After a couple weeks it was time to meet in person. Granted I wasn’t attracted to him physically but the attraction came from the control that he wanted and I wanted to give. He flew down and we met at a casino. We met at the bar. He stared at me while we talked. I talked more then he did but didn’t ask many questions. I talked about myself. Giving him more and more info. Then it was time to go up to his room. Of course I trusted him, I mean why not. He was a Master of course he had my best interests in mind.

He asked me questions in the room about what kind of pain I enjoyed. And he played with me some. He wanted to see what I could handle and of course I wanted to please. So, he tied me up and proceeded to drop hot wax. It hurt but I wouldn’t call it pain. Then he wrapped my whole body up in Saran Wrap for a mummification. He wanted to see if I got panicky. I trusted him without him earning it. Basically he was a stranger and could’ve really hurt me. After a bit he explained to me how to properly ask Him if he would except me as His slave. He explained that once I did I would be his and my life would never be the same. I knelt in front of him, not really thinking or knowing the consequences of my actions or decisions and asked Him to accept me to be His slave.

He then wanted sex. He gave the control to me because he wanted to see if I could please him sexually. Wow. I tried but ultimately my sensuality was the opposite of what pleased him. He explained that He was a Dom and liked it rough. I felt a little devastated because I gave him everything I had. Although he was not going to release me but instead had me perform oral on him. I guess that was more to his liking. After a bit I started having second thoughts about the whole scenario that I put myself and wanted to leave. He told me that I couldn’t. We then proceeded to get into an argument and he threatened me by saying that he would tell the hotel staff that I was too drunk to drive the 2 hours home. Now, you may be wondering why I didn’t just leave then. It was because he was so convincing that maybe it wasn’t safe for me to drive and he cried even. Telling me that he just wanted to have a relationship where someone could love and serve him and that he didn’t have anyone else to care for him. Damn. My desire to be good won over and I spent the night.

The next morning the control started. Well actually it had started with the first phone conversation with him. He weaseled his way into my biggest fears. The fear of not having anyone to care for me. I didn’t have a support system in place. I was very naive and I was truly an innocent person with very little experience in worldly ways.

We proceeded with a Master/slave relationship. Every weekend he would fly down or mostly I would fly to him. For two and a half days a week I was chained and confined naked in his apartment enduring pain and boredom.

During the week I worked and afterwards stayed on the phone with him about four hours a day. Mainly, he had me quiet on the phone while he worked in the office. I had to have him on my Bluetooth every waking moment. I had to send him videos of my bathroom activities and night time rituals. He gave me assignments and kept me naked and cuffed in my own apartment during the week. I didn’t have a life except him. Although, I was allowed to go to my local gym if I had my Bluetooth on and the only time I was truly away was when I did my pool laps or when at work. Although there were texting requirements then too.

This relationship lasted 10 months. I learned a lot about myself and matured into what I needed in life. Ultimately I decided that it wasn’t goober.

I met my Master Vile about 6 weeks after the break up and have been thrilled ever since. I know I’m leaving you hanging a bit but that’s another blog. Goober did not let go easily. He threatened and ranted. Called me every name in the book. Blew up my phone with the ya and calls and emailed me explaining what a horrible person I was. Master Vile stepped in and conversed with him and goober finally let me go.

So, most of the above were not well thought out decisions. Especially thinking that just because I met a Dom didn’t mean that he needed to be my Dom. I didn’t need to obey them prior to entering into a consensual power dynamic and I certainly shouldn’t have put myself in unsafe situations. I learned and grew and have my happy ending. But again, that’s another blog.

Thanks for listening.


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Arianna’s take on anal sex

Some things are just meant to have a commentary. I’m giving my take on my Masters blog on ‘ The Kinky World of Vile’ from his January 6th blog titled, Anal sex and submission.

So, during our negotiations my Master did ask me my thoughts on anal sex. It was a need for Him. I said that I didn’t mind it, especially if done slowly it can be downright enjoyable. I do believe that it is a very submissive act. For myself, it puts me in a loss of control head space. Meaning, that I do not control what’s going on.

My Master has needs and I am here to fulfill those. He mentioned in his blog about ATM. For those who are scratching their heads, it stands for Ass To Mouth. That’s not my favorite but I do not classify it as scat play. Some may but I don’t.

My Master has given so much of himself that my thought is, a little ass play isn’t going to do me harm and it brings him much pleasure.

So my take, lube is best and I feel spoiled if he goes slow. But ultimately this isn’t about me. It’s about His needs and wants and these were agreed to over 5 years ago.

Thank you


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This is my own take on my Master Vile’s latest blog titled journals. His site is The Kinky World Of Vile. 

Like he stated, one day shortly after I moved in with Him, he found about 15 years of journals. They were in a box all spiral bound notebooks. There were about 7 of them. They covered my feelings during previous relationships, my ups and downs and some life events. Most of it was written during low periods of my life and included times of loneliness and despair. 

I was at work while my Master read them. I felt special when I came home and found that out. I mean, he took the time and cared enough to read about my life and to get to know me. The inner workings. The emotions that most men shrug off as a woman being irrational. 

My Master and I talked about the journals. They mainly consisted of unhappy times and for that reason he thought it best for me to get rid of them. Before we did, he gave me the opportunity to look through and take out poetry or anything else that I wasn’t quite ready to let go off. You see, one of my problems is letting the past go. Even when the past isn’t benefiting the present. He found this as an opportunity to move forward. The physical act of throwing them away would be a step towards releasing those past negative emotions. 

I didn’t keep much from them but I did scan through each page. And then out they went. It gave me peace that there was someone else who read them. I was still alive in memory through those writings in my Master’s mind. In that I felt well cared for. 

I don’t write in journals to often. When I have emotional times I communicate with Master either through our conversations or I email him. I also blog but most of the time I keep things non public and share them with my Master or sister sub. 

I think writing things out is important though and a beneficial way to express pent up emotions or conflicted feelings. 

~ arianna

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One down, one to go. As we end the fall season and begin the last month of the year I just wanted to give a shout out to those who have been wondering where I have been. I started this blog in the hopes that I could give a different perspective to my Master Vile’s blog. But he writes, I read and although I like and absorb I don’t have a blog of my own to give a slaves perspective.

My life is good. My sister sub has been awesome. Our home is peaceful. No fighting. No arguing. It’s our safe haven. And, of course my Master Vile is phenomenal. I couldn’t ask for a more understanding person to share my life with.

So there were many things to be grateful for this past thanksgiving. I do feel blessed. My sister sub is awesome. Oh. I already said that. She decorated our tree. Looks great. She got ornaments and I got ornaments and viola beauty ensued.

It’s Masters favorite color, purple. She has an artists touch.

We’ve all been communicating on an elevated level. Every day we sit down and just talk. This is in addition to my Master talking to me every morning on my way to work. This communication really goes a long way to defer any issues before we have issues.

It’s been five years since Master and I met. We actually found some of our first correspondence emails. It was amazing to see that we really didn’t change our views after all this time. We are who we are even at the beginning.

This was our first Christmas together five years ago. Aren’t we cute. 🙂

The holidays are special because we are family. The three of us have grown together over this past year. We signed another years lease which starts in a few days.

Last year was the first Christmas that we officially shared as a family.

So here we are. Our second Christmas officially. Woohoo

Holidays are for enjoying what you have. And we have a lot of love and caring in our home. I’m so grateful. I don’t want to say I’m looking forward to the new year because each day is new. I’m not ready to not enjoy the last 30 days of 2017. Thirty days of togetherness before a new year. Why rush it?

In closing, I’d like to blog more. I’d like to share our lives. You’ll be hearing from me again.

Much love


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Total Eclipse of Life

So the total eclipse just happened across the U.S. but I was not in the 80 mile swath where it was a totality. But was still able to view it up to 85% coverage.

Millions of people drove and flew hundreds of miles to see something that may only happen once in a lifetime locally. So, this got me thinking. People are eager to see a sight or experience a situation in order for it to be a life changing event. The spiritual experience of witnessing history but I think most miss the point, even myself at times. We create each moment of our lives which we can define whether they are life changing or not. What about a smile from a stranger? A giggle of a baby? These could change the course of your life. For instance, a smile from a stranger can turn into a conversation where they have a relative that ends up being the love of your life. The example of a giggling baby could spark an interest in starting a family of your own or maybe give you back your innocence of your childhood dream that you had long forgotten through the perils of life.

My point being that as humans, in general, we tend to look ahead for a starting point, a jumping off of sorts. These moments don’t have to be fleeting or evasive. These moments can occur daily with each sunrise or with each kiss from a loved one. These are moments to be remembered. Not just the BIG once in a life time but remembering that no one moment can be recreated. The river of life continues to flow and dipping our toes in we will only feel each one drop of water just once. Meaning moments, even the tiny ones will never be recreated. They are once in a lifetime.

This is important to remember because I tend to rush time, thinking that the moments are too mundane, too common, and played over too often but in essence that’s not the case. The case is made in the present moment where we can examine what defines us.

My birthday is just around the corner so it’s automatically a time for me to evaluate what worked and didn’t work this past year and what the best year may look like for me. We don’t have any big problems. And I’m continually grateful for our circumstance is good, no matter how stressed out I get or how often I escape in my head, I know that things can always be worse. We are blessed beyond measure because our battles are winnable. I still carry the innocence of a life of love and the belief that good still conquers evil. I believe that things happen for a purpose but it’s just so hard sometimes to step aside and let the calm flow of life lift me above the horizon, out of the depths of my despair where I can view the moments as they are without defining them according to my impatience.

I’m a perfectionist. A Kind of contradiction in life. I believe that things happen for a reason but I rush those things to happen without knowing the consequences or the true reason so how do I determine whether it’s a good or bad thing. Wait… patiently wait… will it happen on its own. In the quiet moments I can believe this but in the chaotic mess of my mind I believe that I control the future which causes anxiety. Haha. Do I really believe that? Sounds silly doesn’t it but I know I’m not the only one in this world who does that.

Life happens. We all can agree on that. Good or bad, life happens.

Enjoy the journey.


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Definition: “the state of being private and away from other people”. 

That’s probably not the right word I want to use. I keep going back to the bubble idea/theory. If you’ve read my past blogs or ones of my Masters then your familiar with our bubble concept. Our bubble is an oasis in the waters of life where I can feel safe and removed from the drama, where the focus is intensely on Master. 

Some days I need the bubble. Actually, more often then not. I don’t need the daily grind of work, dinners and various responsibilities to get in the way of the laser focus. 

I’m going to take a different approach now.  My Master and I were having our morning conversation when the subject of intimacy came up. Not sexual intimacy but the light hearted kind.  The kind that is playfully lustful.  We have different view points of how we view each of our roles. Master believes that His slave should show adoration. It’s the physical touches. I believe that the slave requires permission to touch. I guess it’s keeping my Master on a pedestal. Look but don’t touch is reserved for things that are irreplaceable and rare. 

My first Master was a hands off kind of person. I was led to believe that this was all Masters truth. I have realized that no two Masters are alike but I think I linger on the old philosophy of needing permission. I figure that if they want it, they’ll take it. I know giving brings satisfaction too. I think there’s a deep imbedded yearning to be taken. But the fantasy isn’t going to satisfy both parties. Not that my fantasy is a priority. I think there in lies another aspect, it’s Masters fantasy that defines the course of actions. This was an ephinany when defining the power exchange relationship so why should I be surprised that it would be the same in the physical aspects. Masters needs supersede any thought of going against that due to my own definition of how the relationship should look. 

So I have homework.  


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Hiding in plain sight

The thrashing of life covers the trail of tears 

Hiding inside my own fears of loss or the unwanted emotions capturing the moment

One moment in time defining the next move

One word, an unspoken thought, a neglected care. 

Closed eyes only see the light. 

In the darkness, comfort is found. Like a silent pounding, hidden beneath. 

A heart rests. A mind is silenced. For one moment. 

Truth is spoken. Words Daring the chance of change. 

Through the inhalation one can go deep inside where there is a flutter of hope, a shadow, a hint of what that is felt will be gone with the next exhale. 

A memory of life gone by. Glimpse of the current dreams, goals, longings. Dare we feel those brief invitations. 

For my seclusion, I hide in plain sight. 


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