Arianna’s take on anal sex

Some things are just meant to have a commentary. I’m giving my take on my Masters blog on ‘ The Kinky World of Vile’ from his January 6th blog titled, Anal sex and submission.

So, during our negotiations my Master did ask me my thoughts on anal sex. It was a need for Him. I said that I didn’t mind it, especially if done slowly it can be downright enjoyable. I do believe that it is a very submissive act. For myself, it puts me in a loss of control head space. Meaning, that I do not control what’s going on.

My Master has needs and I am here to fulfill those. He mentioned in his blog about ATM. For those who are scratching their heads, it stands for Ass To Mouth. That’s not my favorite but I do not classify it as scat play. Some may but I don’t.

My Master has given so much of himself that my thought is, a little ass play isn’t going to do me harm and it brings him much pleasure.

So my take, lube is best and I feel spoiled if he goes slow. But ultimately this isn’t about me. It’s about His needs and wants and these were agreed to over 5 years ago.

Thank you

~arianna

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Journals

This is my own take on my Master Vile’s latest blog titled journals. His site is The Kinky World Of Vile. 

Like he stated, one day shortly after I moved in with Him, he found about 15 years of journals. They were in a box all spiral bound notebooks. There were about 7 of them. They covered my feelings during previous relationships, my ups and downs and some life events. Most of it was written during low periods of my life and included times of loneliness and despair. 

I was at work while my Master read them. I felt special when I came home and found that out. I mean, he took the time and cared enough to read about my life and to get to know me. The inner workings. The emotions that most men shrug off as a woman being irrational. 

My Master and I talked about the journals. They mainly consisted of unhappy times and for that reason he thought it best for me to get rid of them. Before we did, he gave me the opportunity to look through and take out poetry or anything else that I wasn’t quite ready to let go off. You see, one of my problems is letting the past go. Even when the past isn’t benefiting the present. He found this as an opportunity to move forward. The physical act of throwing them away would be a step towards releasing those past negative emotions. 

I didn’t keep much from them but I did scan through each page. And then out they went. It gave me peace that there was someone else who read them. I was still alive in memory through those writings in my Master’s mind. In that I felt well cared for. 

I don’t write in journals to often. When I have emotional times I communicate with Master either through our conversations or I email him. I also blog but most of the time I keep things non public and share them with my Master or sister sub. 

I think writing things out is important though and a beneficial way to express pent up emotions or conflicted feelings. 

~ arianna

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Holidays

One down, one to go. As we end the fall season and begin the last month of the year I just wanted to give a shout out to those who have been wondering where I have been. I started this blog in the hopes that I could give a different perspective to my Master Vile’s blog. But he writes, I read and although I like and absorb I don’t have a blog of my own to give a slaves perspective.

My life is good. My sister sub has been awesome. Our home is peaceful. No fighting. No arguing. It’s our safe haven. And, of course my Master Vile is phenomenal. I couldn’t ask for a more understanding person to share my life with.

So there were many things to be grateful for this past thanksgiving. I do feel blessed. My sister sub is awesome. Oh. I already said that. She decorated our tree. Looks great. She got ornaments and I got ornaments and viola beauty ensued.

It’s Masters favorite color, purple. She has an artists touch.

We’ve all been communicating on an elevated level. Every day we sit down and just talk. This is in addition to my Master talking to me every morning on my way to work. This communication really goes a long way to defer any issues before we have issues.

It’s been five years since Master and I met. We actually found some of our first correspondence emails. It was amazing to see that we really didn’t change our views after all this time. We are who we are even at the beginning.

This was our first Christmas together five years ago. Aren’t we cute. 🙂

The holidays are special because we are family. The three of us have grown together over this past year. We signed another years lease which starts in a few days.

Last year was the first Christmas that we officially shared as a family.

So here we are. Our second Christmas officially. Woohoo

Holidays are for enjoying what you have. And we have a lot of love and caring in our home. I’m so grateful. I don’t want to say I’m looking forward to the new year because each day is new. I’m not ready to not enjoy the last 30 days of 2017. Thirty days of togetherness before a new year. Why rush it?

In closing, I’d like to blog more. I’d like to share our lives. You’ll be hearing from me again.

Much love

~arianna

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Total Eclipse of Life

So the total eclipse just happened across the U.S. but I was not in the 80 mile swath where it was a totality. But was still able to view it up to 85% coverage.

Millions of people drove and flew hundreds of miles to see something that may only happen once in a lifetime locally. So, this got me thinking. People are eager to see a sight or experience a situation in order for it to be a life changing event. The spiritual experience of witnessing history but I think most miss the point, even myself at times. We create each moment of our lives which we can define whether they are life changing or not. What about a smile from a stranger? A giggle of a baby? These could change the course of your life. For instance, a smile from a stranger can turn into a conversation where they have a relative that ends up being the love of your life. The example of a giggling baby could spark an interest in starting a family of your own or maybe give you back your innocence of your childhood dream that you had long forgotten through the perils of life.

My point being that as humans, in general, we tend to look ahead for a starting point, a jumping off of sorts. These moments don’t have to be fleeting or evasive. These moments can occur daily with each sunrise or with each kiss from a loved one. These are moments to be remembered. Not just the BIG once in a life time but remembering that no one moment can be recreated. The river of life continues to flow and dipping our toes in we will only feel each one drop of water just once. Meaning moments, even the tiny ones will never be recreated. They are once in a lifetime.

This is important to remember because I tend to rush time, thinking that the moments are too mundane, too common, and played over too often but in essence that’s not the case. The case is made in the present moment where we can examine what defines us.

My birthday is just around the corner so it’s automatically a time for me to evaluate what worked and didn’t work this past year and what the best year may look like for me. We don’t have any big problems. And I’m continually grateful for our circumstance is good, no matter how stressed out I get or how often I escape in my head, I know that things can always be worse. We are blessed beyond measure because our battles are winnable. I still carry the innocence of a life of love and the belief that good still conquers evil. I believe that things happen for a purpose but it’s just so hard sometimes to step aside and let the calm flow of life lift me above the horizon, out of the depths of my despair where I can view the moments as they are without defining them according to my impatience.

I’m a perfectionist. A Kind of contradiction in life. I believe that things happen for a reason but I rush those things to happen without knowing the consequences or the true reason so how do I determine whether it’s a good or bad thing. Wait… patiently wait… will it happen on its own. In the quiet moments I can believe this but in the chaotic mess of my mind I believe that I control the future which causes anxiety. Haha. Do I really believe that? Sounds silly doesn’t it but I know I’m not the only one in this world who does that.

Life happens. We all can agree on that. Good or bad, life happens.

Enjoy the journey.

~arianna

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Seclusion

Definition: “the state of being private and away from other people”. 

That’s probably not the right word I want to use. I keep going back to the bubble idea/theory. If you’ve read my past blogs or ones of my Masters then your familiar with our bubble concept. Our bubble is an oasis in the waters of life where I can feel safe and removed from the drama, where the focus is intensely on Master. 

Some days I need the bubble. Actually, more often then not. I don’t need the daily grind of work, dinners and various responsibilities to get in the way of the laser focus. 

I’m going to take a different approach now.  My Master and I were having our morning conversation when the subject of intimacy came up. Not sexual intimacy but the light hearted kind.  The kind that is playfully lustful.  We have different view points of how we view each of our roles. Master believes that His slave should show adoration. It’s the physical touches. I believe that the slave requires permission to touch. I guess it’s keeping my Master on a pedestal. Look but don’t touch is reserved for things that are irreplaceable and rare. 

My first Master was a hands off kind of person. I was led to believe that this was all Masters truth. I have realized that no two Masters are alike but I think I linger on the old philosophy of needing permission. I figure that if they want it, they’ll take it. I know giving brings satisfaction too. I think there’s a deep imbedded yearning to be taken. But the fantasy isn’t going to satisfy both parties. Not that my fantasy is a priority. I think there in lies another aspect, it’s Masters fantasy that defines the course of actions. This was an ephinany when defining the power exchange relationship so why should I be surprised that it would be the same in the physical aspects. Masters needs supersede any thought of going against that due to my own definition of how the relationship should look. 

So I have homework.  

~arianna 

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Hiding in plain sight

The thrashing of life covers the trail of tears 

Hiding inside my own fears of loss or the unwanted emotions capturing the moment

One moment in time defining the next move

One word, an unspoken thought, a neglected care. 

Closed eyes only see the light. 

In the darkness, comfort is found. Like a silent pounding, hidden beneath. 

A heart rests. A mind is silenced. For one moment. 

Truth is spoken. Words Daring the chance of change. 

Through the inhalation one can go deep inside where there is a flutter of hope, a shadow, a hint of what that is felt will be gone with the next exhale. 

A memory of life gone by. Glimpse of the current dreams, goals, longings. Dare we feel those brief invitations. 

For my seclusion, I hide in plain sight. 

~arianna

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So, I’m here

Good afternoon. 

I’m here in my little world. Sometimes I wonder if my world is too little. My world is safe. My world is secure. The bigger your world becomes the less your able to assume that drama will be absent. 

So, my world consists firstly of my Master. He is my main concern. It’s easy for me to put family second due to not being close to family save for my mom. We have a relationship which is as close as I can get. That’s another story in and of itself. I love my mom and on this Mother’s Day there’s nothing but positive thoughts of her. I’m cooking for her tonight. Chicken ravioli carbonara. Hopefully, it’ll come out good. Never had it before. The pic looks awesome. Not to toot my own horn but i hold my own in the kitchen,  Mainly due to the fact that I can decipher recipes and add a little to them or substitute this from that. I don’t like not having a recipe as a base. Master on the other hand likes to wing it. Most of the time it turns out really good. He’s the grill a God. Lol. 

I don’t have many hobbies. When I get free time I tend to visit my “other” mom. Who lives two hours away so it’s a full day. Or, I like to piddle around at our local goodwill, decorate my calendar or make cards. Although, last night I spent about an hour painting on my paint by numbers. It’s a really pretty pic. Big. About 17×14 or something like that. I didn’t measure but it takes up a bit amount of space.  

So, I stayed home from our coffee group this past Wednesday night. It’s kinky coffee. We go most weeks. It’s a time for my Master to get out and socialize although no one is really into a power exchange dynamic. My Master and L went. They don’t get to spend alone time together so it was a good opportunity for her and for myself to get a little time to work on a project. Master gave me a task to make a karija dress. It’s a pretty simple thing. No pattern needed which is good because the extent of my sewing skills are pillows, curtains, and a quilt. I’m halfway finished. He gave me a deadline of July 1. That seems like plenty of time but I just don’t get spare time when I’m not tired or when I’m actually feeling creative. For those who aren’t familiar, I work full time outside the home and maintain the home too. Although L is a big help. She’s the main reason why I can have creative time. It’s hard bough seeing someone do chores and me sit and do nothing. We’ve tried it different ways but time is our enemy. It doesn’t help that I need an early bedtime of 8 pm. I need as close to 8 hours of sleep. I wake at 3:45 am. This allows time to enjoy coffee with my Master and L. They both arise with me and we have time together for about 30 minutes. Usually both go back to bed. First L does once she says good bye to me at the door, then my Master talks to me on the phone during my morning commute and then he hopefully gets back sleep by 6 am. I clock in at 5:45 which is worth it to miss rush hour. What takes me 25 minutes in the early morning would turn into an hour by 8:30 am. 

My job is pretty physical. Last week when I had one of our areas that requires a lot of walking I put in over 17,000 steps. Doesn’t sound like it would be too difficult but there’s other stuff that happens to. I won’t go into details because I don’t really want work to read this blog and if for some chance they do I don’t want to be talking about my job in a way that could give out non public information. 

My days are filled with work mostly. Then it’s hard for me to relax when I get home and there’s always something to be done. L thinks I can’t relax. I haven’t learned to do nothing if she’s there. She cleans really well and cooks good too. But… if I leave something to pick up later she gets to it before I do. So, sometimes I feel like things need to be accomplished so she doesn’t have to. L works but not full time although she gets paid well. I’m happy that she is able to visit family and friends. She’s a lot closer to her family then I am mine and she has made a big sacrifice moving in with us because now her family is 90 minutes away. I’m hoping to stay where we live for another year once our lease is up although it’s hard on her. After that then we can move closer. We are spoiled though. Fenced in yard, garage, and a big place plus our own washer and dryer and irrigation.  That was important because I needed one without an agitator. In the apartment I had to wash my delicates in the bathtub because the washer would eat stuff. Now I have a gentle cycle without an agitator. Whoop whoop. It’s the little things. Lol.  Master has his own office and L has her own room. She sleeps in there and has her stuff in there. We don’t have a king bed so our sleeping arrangements are separate. She will snuggle with me at night before Master gets off of work. It works for us. 

I don’t talk to much about L. Maybe because there is no need on my end. She writes in her journal and it’s nice when we share. It opens up deep conversations. It’s important to answer questions as they come up because we interpret things differently. I mean, when there’s another person in the mix more things need to be considered when living together. There’s a whole separate set of wants, needs, emotions and expectations. We don’t argue and have yet to have a disagreement. She’s very passive. That’s one reason why it’s important to continue to share our feelings. I don’t want to inadvertently hurt her. I do get a little weird sometimes. I’m still learning. I grew up by myself save for my mom and usually I’m alone with my significant other so it’s an adjustment.  The thing to adjust to is another person not necessarily L. L is the most laid back, non aggressive easy going person I know. I can’t say the same for me. Lol. She’s challenged by living with me.  😉

So. That’s it in a nutshell.  I’m here. Just living. Looking forward to our rainy season although not to work in the rain. We are in a drought. Unusual for us. 

I’m babbling. My lunch break is over. It’s been fun. 

~arianna

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